First Day of School Tips for First Time School Children

The article below is my contribution to our office newsletter ezine for the month of June. I am sharing it with the readers of this blog, especially those with first time school children. 

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The month of June in the Philippines signifies the end of summer, and the start of the school year. First day of school for first time school children can either make or break their general impression of school, and can possibly affect their future outlook towards going to school. A child’s anxiety and apprehensions can prevent them from having that good learning atmosphere at school. As parents, we can help ease their anxiety using the tips below:

1. Good night sleep.
On the night before the first day of school, parents should advise their kids to be fully rested by having a good night’s sleep. This would allow the child to be well-rested and not sleepy during his/her first day of classes.

2. Preparing A Day Before.
Since most first time school children are not yet that independent, parents usually still arrange their school stuff like school materials and uniforms. In order to prevent unnecessary rush and panic in the morning, parents should make sure that all the needed school stuff is ready the night before – from books and pens to shoes and uniforms.  This will make the children more excited (than rattled) when they wake up in the morning.

3. Good breakfast.
Nutritionist all agree that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Before sending the kids to school, parents should make sure that children eat a heavy and nutritious breakfast. An empty stomach would cause hunger pangs later in school and may prevent the kids from focusing and enjoying school.

4. Come early.
Being early in school on the first day does not only leave a good impression on the teacher, but it also allows our kid to relax a little longer before the actual classes begin. They can get a feel of their classroom, their teacher, as well as their classmates. It also allows us parents to stay a bit longer and check on how our kids are adjusting. Being early also allows our kids to choose their seats (if they are not seated by the teacher based on a certain scheme like by class number). This would allow them to be seated in a spot wherein they feel comfortable and at ease.

5. Sending something from Home.
For those kids with separation anxiety, try to bring something that reminds them of home – a small family picture, a small toy car or toy that he/she can keep inside his/her bag or pocket.

6. Have a goodbye procedure.
When it’s time to leave our little children, try to set up a goodbye routine or procedure. Like a kiss on the check with a pat on the back. This will allow the kids to be more comfortable when it is bye-bye time for mom/dad. Once we leave, let us also try not to go back. Kids may be upset at the start, but it is a good time for them to adjust to their new environment, especially to their new teachers or nurse aid.

7. Be on time during dismissal time.
Nothing would be scarier for a little child than to be left alone when all of his/her classmates have been picked up by their parents/guardians during dismissal. It is important for us parents to be prompt when picking up our kids during dismissal time, even at least during the 1st few weeks. This will make the child more secured.

8. Check on the child’s feelings.
Upon reaching home, parents should talk to their kids about how school went. We can ask them what activities did they do, and how do they felt towards these activities. We can ask them if he/she have already met new friends, and if the teacher gave them enjoyable activities. This kind of activity not only serves as a bonding opportunity between parents and their small kids. It also allows our little children to be open about discussing the things that they liked or disliked about school. When the things they dislike about school seem serious (a classmate who suddenly pulled their hair or collar), then it could be a red flag of pending trouble, and as such should be reported early to the teacher.

Whenever we think that our kids are just being clingy when they have their first-day-of-school anxiety, it is always nice to remember that we were once in their shoes. Our parents were just patient enough to handle our apprehensions. As such, as parents we should also make sure that our kids have a good start in school. :-)

Surviving Single Parenthood

The article below is my contribution to our office newsletter/ezine for the month of May. I want to share it with the readers of this blog, especially in case I have single parent readers. 


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Parenthood is not a simple stroll in the park. Similar to a farmer who nourishes a seed to become a full tree or plant, the mother and father nurtures a child to become a responsible adult someday. However, sometimes there are unforeseen circumstances which push an individual to become a single parent. At this stage, the individual takes on the role of both the mother and father in rearing a child. The role is doubled, and so are the challenges.

Below are a few tips on how to live through single parenthood.

1. Have a good support system:

Being a mom or a dad per se is difficult. What more if you have to take up a double-role of being both. Having a good support system of family and friends whom you can trust does not only provide a single parent some moral support, but can also serve as an extended pair of arms and legs whenever the single parent has so much tasks in his/her hand.

2. Make and Find time for Yourself:

Too often single parents are very much occupied with work and raising their kids, that they have less time for themselves. Setting up some personal “me-time” allows the single parent to rest and recharge – thus feeling less burnt out. A single parent can also learn new skills aside from the work he/she has been used to. This would allow him/her to not only have time for him/herself, but also to improve him/herself.

3. Always be Prepared:

A bottle of water, some snacks, an extra pair of clothes, some tissue or napkin, hand sanitizer or alcohol, a small toy or book to keep the little ones busy. With kids around, being prepared is always a must for parents. But by being a single parent, being prepared becomes a sole responsibility. It is important that whenever you and your child leave home, the “essential stuff” (i.e. the items listed in the first statement) is always within reach.

4. Maintain a Positive Attitude:

Having the task to juggle work, paying the bills, taking care of the home, and solely raising a child can become overwhelming and can sometimes stress out any single parent. It is always important to have a positive attitude if you’re a single parent.  When things get out of hand, a single parent can maintain a journal just to have an outlet to vent out all the negative feelings.  Children learn from their parents. And we want our kids to grow up having an optimistic “can-do” mindset.

5. Live Within Your Means:

Part of being a single parent is handling financial matters on your own, whether it is paying the bills at home or shouldering your child’s education. It is an important for any single parent to learn the necessary budgeting skills, spending wisely, as well as making sound financial decisions to save for the future.

6. Spend Quality Time With Your Kid(s):

This is one, if not the most, important part of this list. Spending quality time with your son or daughter does not only meet the child’s need for attention, but it allows the single parent to have some meaningful interaction. This meaningful interaction would allow the single parent to learn more about his/her child and sometimes, even about him/herself. Quality time need not always be expensive and extravagant. A good chitchat over dinner, or some weekend at the movies or arcade, or picnic at the park are good examples.

To summarize, single parenthood is definitely not for the faint of heart or those who fear responsibility. A single parent should be able to have the compassion and tenderness of a mother, and combine it with the steadfastness and the discipline skills of a father. But the rewards have always been great. Being able to see your child grow up successfully and knowing in your heart that you were able to do it on your own, is a reward any single parent can be truly proud of.

Special Note:

The author of this article is a single parent to an 8-year old boy.  The article includes the author’s personal insights and take on surviving (and thriving) as a single parent.

3 Lessons From my Mama

It's a few more days before Mother's Day (May 12). As I watch my mom go through her daily routine, I realized how fast time flies. So fast, that I also realized I am now a mother myself. In my 30++ years of being with my mom, and the 7 years of being a mom myself, there are 3 character-defining lessons which I learned from my own mother:

Fight fair. My mom and I has always been the feisty-in-the-right-sense type. As an old local saying would go, "kapag may katwiran, ipaglaban mo..." (i.e. If the reason is valid, fight for it). Our school had raised us that way. We would not usually take things sitting down, especially if the fault was obvious. But despite her being feisty, my mom would always remind us not to take advantage of the situation, even if we had the upper hand. Fight fair and be fair. Listen to both sides of the story before passing judgment. Think of what the other person will feel if you were in his/her shoes.

Respect the differences among people. People have different views and opinions on different things. If a person's opinions are different from the mainstream, it does not necessarily mean he/she is wrong. Perhaps, he/she is just dancing to a different beat. There were instances at home wherein the family is divided over a certain topic. Being the conventional thinker and the head of the family, my father usually speaks his mind and his views are usually the traditional conservative response. My mother, on the other hand, is the non-conventional thinker, the "challenger" to my father's POV, saying that there could be other circumstances that  led to the particular situation or issue to happen. The admirable thing about this is, she is able to do so in a manner in which mutual respect and open-mindedness is still maintained.

Live without any regrets. At the end of the day, it all boils down to what makes you genuinely happy. That kind of "genuinely happy" wherein you don't mind what people think of you, or what the norms or the standards are, as long as you find  happiness in it, and that you did not step on other people's feet just to reach that happiness. When I decided to take a shift in my career, I knew my family and some of my friends would think different of it. My mom simply asked me 2 questions, "Magiging masaya ka ba sa gagawin mo?" (i.e. Will you be happy with your decision?) and "May matatapakan ka ba sa magiging desisyon mo?" (i.e. Will you be stepping on someone's foot with your decision?). I answered the first question on the affirmative, while the second on the negative. I explained what my priorities are which made me decide on the career shift. After she heard my answers and my explanation, she just nodded, as if saying that I have her blessing. No more further questions asked.

To my everdearest Mama (a.k.a. Mudra, Mudrakels, Mamuuu), I now understand how difficult yet fulfilling a mother's role is. For all it's worth, I would like to thank you for all your sacrifices and for the wisdom that you've imparted to us your kids, most especially to me, your daughter who's now a mom myself. I hope that when my own son grows up, I too, can raise him the way you raised us. Nobody's perfect, but I guess you did an awesome job as a mom. Whatever values I possess now, I definitely learned it from you. I will always cherish all these and will always love you. Advance Happy Mother's Day! :)

Project 365: Feb.10,2011 (day041): Zion's Heart-Warming Valentine Gift

Today I got home to an early Valentine's gift from my son, Zion. It's a very heart-warming school art project which showed a heart on front, and an I-Love-You message at the back. I know their nursery teacher helped them in creating it, but imagining my 4-year old exert his effort (it's a lot, knowing how my son can be so lazy in writing long texts) in preparing this project makes my heart overflow with love and pride. It may sound shallow, but I was really touched by his art project. Oh well.. there goes some "mommythoughts"! :-)

Project 365: Feb. 03,2011 (day034): Braids

I was relaxing at home after a day in the office. I decided to play a little with Zion, when I noticed that his "tail" was fixed in a braid. I asked his nanny who did it, and she replied that the photographer in school did it, as they were taking the kids' yearbook pics. It was really amusing, because the guy/girl who did the braids was really into it (i.e. kina-career ang braids). Tee hee!! :-)

Project 365: Jan.21, 2011 (day021): Baby Toothbrush

Zion was able to visit his dentist today. Aside from getting his dental records, he also had his routine check-up and prophylaxis (not sure about the spelling but this is the procedure wherein the dentist cleans the patient's teeth). Since his dentist is a close family friend, he was given a freebie before leaving the clinic - a small or "baby" toothbrush. It was given as a reward because Zion behaved well while he was being examined.

Project 365:Jan.20, 2011 (day020): Review Time

I had to go home early today to help Zion in his review. Tomorrow, he will be having his 3rd Quarter assessment exam. It will cover Math, Reading, and Science. While preparing his reviewers, I can't believe that 4-year old nursery kids like him are already having examinations in Math, Reading, and Science. His reading exams will cover words that begin with consonants from D to P, while his Science subject covers places where animals live (i.e. land, water, air, and both land and water), as well as animal coverings - hair, feather, scales. His Math exams will cover counting and identifying numbers 6-10 and the dreaded patterns. At their young age, I am amazed that they are taught sequences and patterns. Good luck to my dear Zion! Hope he gets perfect scores again. :-)

Project 365: Jan. 18, 2011 (day018): Bad Pajamas

We were at the mall (SM Hypermart) last weekend to shop for our usual grocery items. Since I finished ahead of my mom, I had the chance to visit the kids section where a couple of kiddie clothes are on sale. I noticed that there were pajamas on sale - 3 pairs of pajamas pants for about 230 pesos. Hmmm.. Not bad, knowing that the fabric was similar to fleece material. I got one set and paid at the counter. This evening, I asked Zion to wear one of the 3 pairs, and noticed that it had the design above. I am not sure who the cartoon character was, but the caption was definitely eye-catching - "Born to be Bad". Well.. If you'll ask me, as a mom, a little naughtiness is tolerable (Zion falls under this category, anyway). But I hope he won't live up to the design of his pajamas - "Born to be Bad".. :-D

Project 365: Jan. 17, 2011 (day017): Comfort Corner

During those moments when I get angry at him, my son Zion runs to one corner of our bed - the Comfort Corner. This is the corner wherein I or his nanny stacks all his pillows and stuff toys after he wakes up in the morning or from his afternoon naps. Whenever I get angry at him, he runs to this corner, hugs one of his pillows or stuff toys while sobbing. And as his mom, once I see him snugged and snobbing in this corner, my anger and infuriation slowly slips away, as my "mommy side" takes over.

Project 365: Jan.14,2011 (day014): Choices and Crayons

About a few minutes ago, after eating dinner, I helped my 4-year old son with his homework. It involved coloring. I brought out his set of crayons and noticed that there were those colors that are very much used, and those that were obviously untouched. I asked my son's "opinion" as to why he thinks there are those colors that were untouched. I asked him if those colors were ugly or too dark (though I know 2 of the untouched colors were shades of orange). He simply answered, "panget yung colors na yan para sa akin..." (i.e. to me, those colors were ugly / not appealing). Nice to know that my son is starting to have his own choices. It is nice to know that at his young age, he knows what he likes and not. :-)

Project 365: Jan.12, 2011 (day012): Ninong & I

Due to our "uncommon" family setup, Zion has two daddy figures here at home - my Dad (his grandfather) and my brother (his uncle). Incidentally, my brother is also his Ninong (i.e. godfather). Since their age brackets are much closer, Zion gets his dose of antics from mostly from my brother. And though they get along well, when Zion gets rowdy and out-of-control, it is only my brother who can make him sit still and behave. My brother and I do not always see eye to eye, but I am always thankful to him for being a good uncle and even father-figure to Zion. :-)

Project 365: Jan. 10, 2011 (day010): Got Your Back Spongebob

Monday has always been a tough day for almost everyone here at home (with my Dad as an exemption being the steadfast workaholic that he is). It seems that we have that "weekend hangover", wishing we can extend the weekend even by a few hours. My Zion is no exemption. Waking him up for his morning bath and breakfast is a tedious task. Telling him that he will go to school adds up to the challenge. As we adults get creative in our threats to get him out of bed, Zion gets even more creative with his excuses to stay in bed (e.g. asks for more milk, tells us that his towel and uniform got lost, tells us that it is still Saturday, tells us that they have no school). But one thing that can surely wake him up is threatening him that his prized Spongebob-backpack will be thrown out of the house. Threaten him with this, and you'll get him up and awake in no time. :-)

Project365: Jan.08, 2011 (day008): Little Photographer

When I was able to finally buy a DSLR camera, I was thinking that my old, shutterlag-stricken point-and-shoot camera will seldom be used. Perhaps only during those occassions when it is inconvenient to bring the DSLR. But these thoughts vanished, when I saw my 4-year old son Zion, taking (wild and sometimes blurred) shots using the old camera. He would ask me to buy the 2 AA batteries and borrow the camera. I let him take those pictures, as long as an adult watches over him and the camera. Start him young in photography. At least, I know my old camera will not rust inside the drawer. Somebody found interest in it. :-)

Project 365: Jan. 05, 2011 (day005) - In Your Eyes

If there is one thing I love about the physical attributes of my son, it would definitely be his pair of eyes and eyelashes. Eversince he was an infant, I've already noticed that his pair of eyes and eyelashes is something every girl would want. Unfortunately, those sweet pair of eyes and those curly eyelashes are owned by my son, a boy. Tee hee! :-) Oh well.. I guess my mom and I would just ogle everytime my 4-year old bats his eyelashes. With those eyes and eyelashes, who needs mascara? :-)

Thoughts from A Single Parent - Part II

Today I got angry at Zion for being such a devilish little monster. He was throwing tantrums, screaming at the top of his voice, hurling his slippers and toys the way a ninja throws his shuriken (i.e. a ninja's deadly star-shaped weapon) during a fight. The reason for his going berserk? He just wants to watch Spongebob Squarepants… the whole day. Today I realized something. It is difficult to combine a mother’s compassionate nature, with the natural disciplinarian role of a father.

In our culture, it is expected for the mother to be the “soft” one – the family’s source of compassion, gentleness, and the calming breeze that soothes and relaxes the home. On the other hand, our culture dictates that the father should be the firmer one – the family’s source of strength, discipline, and the force that keeps the family going. This is how the traditional Filipino family is structured. This is the traditional family setup which dictates that the yin and yang roles of the father and the mother should be endowed on two separate individuals which are joined together in marriage. This is one dilemma a single parent like me faces. It is heart-breaking for any mother to spank and reprimand one’s child, no matter how impish the kid is. Blood has always been thicker than water. However, it would also be heart-breaking for any mother to see one’s child grow up as an irresponsible adult despised by society, because the child was not brought up properly. As a single parent, it is painful for me every time I have to spank Zion’s tiny hands even if he hurled his toys at me. As a mother, it hurts to verbally reprimand a 3-year old boy even if that 3-year old boy screams his lungs out because he’s not allowed to watch Spongebob 24 hours a day. Somehow, despite their kids’ obnoxious behavior and tantrums, a mother always has a heart for her little ones. But as a single parent, I know that I would rather spank my son’s hands now (and instill in him discipline) than to see those hands in handcuffs in the future. I would rather verbally reprimand my son now (and tell him he’s wrong) than to hear other people throw negative criticisms about him when he grows up. I would rather see him crying now because we are trying to straighten his ways, than to see him grieving in jail in the future because of the lack of discipline when he was young.

Indeed, it is difficult to be a mother and father rolled into one. Not only on the financial aspect. But even on discipline matters. But at the end of every “bout” Zion and I have, I always try to explain myself to my son, "Love does not mean I will always allow you to have what you want. It doesn’t mean that I won’t enforce discipline whenever it is needed. Love means that I will try to raise you the best way I could, to make you a better individual, a God-fearing person, and a productive citizen of this nation."...